No More Believing

The idea of romance is dead to me.
Blind faith was never my strong suit.
Why do people say they're 'in love'?
Do you truly feel a connection to that person?
Or is it something much closer to the surface?
Something...superficial.
I can't understand the motive behind it.
Why bother if there's nothing there?
You're only wasting you're time.
That's why I've given up.
Love is dead in my eyes.

You feel it don't you?
The coldness in your soul.
The ice that tears at your heart.
You can run, you can hide.
But it will always be there.
Waiting to drag you down.
Like an anchor in the sea.
You can never escape the cold.
It only lurks beneath the surface.
And it's going to drag you down.

Is wanting to die normal? Probably.

Do You Know Anything At All?

People always think they know other people, but they don't.
Not really. I mean, maybe they know things about them, like they won't eat doughnuts or they like action movies or whatever.
But they don't know what their friends do in their rooms alone at night or what happened to them when they were kids or if they feel fucked up and sad for no reason at all.

Don't pretend like you know me.
You can't just tell me to cheer up and expect things to be sunshine and rainbows again.
Nothing is ever that simple.
There's a lot you don't know.
Things that even I don't know.
But I'm searching for answers.
Maybe one day I'll tell you what I find.
Then maybe you'll understand.
But until then don't even try.
There's just some things you'll never know.


依然愛你 - 王力宏

我依然愛你 或許是 命中注定
多年之後 任何人都無法代替
那些時光是我這一輩子最美好的
那些回憶 依然無法忘記

我依然愛你 就是 唯一的退路
我依然珍惜 時時刻刻的幸福
你每個呼吸 每一個動作 每個表情
到最後 一定會
依然愛你

What's Left?

Everything comes back to haunt me.
Back then, it was all fun and games.
At least to you anyway.
For me, those are just painful memories.
You'll never know how screwed up this is.
You'll never know anything.
Because now, there's nothing left.

Last Chance - Maroon 5

Out of sight not out of mind
You want the world, I'll give you mine
Cause your the girl I'll never find
And I'm the boy you left behind
I bet you think you're satisfied

I don't think you'll ever understand.
That person you left behind doesn't exist anymore.
So don't ever try coming back.
You ruined so much for me.
Every occasion I once held special.
My birthday, Christmas and the list goes on.
Now all I have left is this storm of self-loathing and despair.
And all that is hidden behind my composure.
A facade of lies.
That's what is left behind.
A mess, a wreck, a disaster.
How could you?
You ignored everything I ever said to you.
I confided in you.
Was it all a big mistake? Yes.
I should have never trusted you.
I should have known better.
But now I know.
All your lies are so clear now.
But it doesn't matter.
I'm better off without you.
I'd rather be who I am now than be with you.
Because when I see you now, I realise how much better off I am.
Even if I am alone, at least I have self respect.
Actually I don't, but at least I'm not like you.
This fucked up piece of shit that I am, is better than what you're doing right now.
Taking advantage of other people like me.
I wish I could say I hate you.
Unfortunately I understand everything you did.
It was typical of you.
I just couldn't see until now.
But that doesn't matter.

We were never meant to be.
Because I'm meant to be this way.
I'm just hoping that this will be over soon.

Lies

Everyone tells lies.
Some hurt, others don't.
But would you tell a lie for the greater good?
To get you through the night?

Just A Feeling - Maroon 5

Obsessed, depressed at the same time
I can't even walk in a straight line
I'm a light in the dark, no sunshine
No sunshine, no sunshine

She cries, "This is more than goodbye
When I look into your eyes
You're not even there"

It's just a feeling, just a feeling, just a feeling that I have
Just a feeling, just a feeling that I have
'Cause it's just a feeling, just a feeling, just a feeling
(I can't believe that it's over)

I think I finally understand.
I told myself a lie.
One I could easily believe.
One that made it right in mind.
But really, there was no justification.
Only infatuation.

What is this word love that we throw around?
I thought I understood.
But each and every day I find the meaning slipping away.
It's so complex, so screwed up.
There's so much I wish I could understand.
But now is not the time.
I doubt there ever will be a time.
One day it will just hit me, like today's epiphany.
I'm sorry.
I keep searching and when I get close I run away.
Much like a bomb.
Unstable, complex, destructive.
But that's not the point.
To those that I've hurt I apologise.
I keep running away from the truth.
I keep fabricating lies to justify my actions.
In reality, I'm the one who's done wrong.

I wish I really knew what all this meant.
I had it once.
It was crystal clear in my mind before.
But now I'm tainted, broken.
I doubt I'll ever find what it means again.
Let alone, experience it again.
Do I continue to live in the dark?
Or do I seek the light?
I don't know.
I don't think I ever will.

Misery

Misery - Maroon 5

I'm desperate and confused, so far away from you
I'm getting there, I don't care where I have to roam

Why do you do what you do to me, yeah?
Why won't you answer me, answer me yeah?
Why do you do what you do to me yeah?
Why won't you answer me, answer me yeah?

I am in misery
And there ain't nobody who can comfort me, oh yeah
Why won't you answer me?
The silence is slowly killing me, oh yeah

Beyond Repair

Some things are just not worth fixing.

And frankly, I'm one of them.

What Happened?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=StCtPtPtmkc

If only time was so forgiving...

How does it feel, knowing that you're going to die alone?

Back To The Days

Falling in love with techno all over again.

Heaven - DJ Sammy

Baby you're all that I want
When you're lying here in my arms
I'm finding it hard to believe
We're in heaven

I feel...restricted.

Food For Thought

What doesn't kill us, only makes us bitter.