Anxiety

Why are all these feelings rising up now?
I can hardly contain them.
What has happened to me?
I thought I was prepared.
But you changed everything.
I know this won't work.
But I want it anyway.
Its distracting me.
Being so close, yet so far.
I don't understand you.
Do you, or don't you?
I just need an answer.

I'm panicking.
I feel like I can't breathe.
What do I do?

Right Here, Right Now

I know what I said.
But I don't care.
I know that it won't work.
But I don't care.
I know that this might fuck things up.
But I don't care.

Because right now, you're the only I want to be with.
Screw the consequences.
You're the only one worth waking up for.
The one I wait to see.
But it drives me crazy.
Knowing that I can never call you mine.
Knowing that I can never tell you.
It's killing me inside.
I know that you'd be better of without me.
But would it not be worth trying?

We can't know for sure.
I only know that I want to be with you now.
And if I don't take this opportunity I'll regret it.
All I need is a sign.

Fallen - Jason Derulo

You are the one, who makes it worth getting up in the morning.
I'd trade the sun, for the chance to show you I'm all in.
We could be like Jay and Beyonce,
Bonnie and Clyde us like a movie, take that chance on love yeah.

Now I can't predict what the future holds,
But I'll fight forever to keep you close yeah.

Spiral Down

And, as suddenly as it had opened, the door slammed shut again.
The faint tendrils of sunshine were shut out by the grey cast iron door.
His hand reached out, and dropped in despair.
He tucked his knees to his chest, face down as the tears began to well up.
The long hours passed, but there was no way to tell.
It did not matter to him anymore.
The outside world was no longer of importance.
The shell of a once confident, young man now sat, dishevelled and despairing.
He could not reach out, nor express his feelings.
There was only bitterness, an all consuming darkness that engulfed his mind.